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Jokes

kiera Global Moderator Posts: 111	Jokes Feb 15, 2019 16:25:37 GMT ruadh likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by kiera on Feb 15, 2019 16:25:37 GMT How do you catch Chip and Dale? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Climb up a tree and act like a nut.
	*Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain.*

ruadh Global Moderator Posts: 23	Jokes Aug 17, 2019 22:01:22 GMT kiera likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by ruadh on Aug 17, 2019 22:01:22 GMT What does a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Their balls are just for decoration.
	*Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.*

poseidon Global Moderator Posts: 15	Jokes Dec 11, 2019 19:04:02 GMT nitika likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by poseidon on Dec 11, 2019 19:04:02 GMT What kind of motorbike does Santa ride? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}A Holly Davidson!
	*No one wants advice - only corroboration.*

braeden Global Moderator Posts: 16	Jokes Dec 13, 2019 22:45:30 GMT aderyn likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by braeden on Dec 13, 2019 22:45:30 GMT What is the worst combination in illnesses? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Alzheimer's and diarrhea. You're running, but can't remember where.
	*Imagination is more important than knowledge.*

tacincala Global Moderator Posts: 109 Musician: Roadie	Jokes Dec 17, 2019 18:17:45 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by tacincala on Dec 17, 2019 18:17:45 GMT My older relatives often tease me at our family weddings: "Well, do you think you’ll be next?" SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}We'll settled this quickly; once I've asked them the same question at our family funerals
	*Where hope grows, miracles blossom.*

aderyn Global Moderator Posts: 113	Jokes Jan 15, 2020 8:40:36 GMT braeden likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by aderyn on Jan 15, 2020 8:40:36 GMT How do you confuse a male archeologist? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Give him a tampon and ask him what period it came from!
	*To perceive is to suffer.*

bluegene Administrator Posts: 20 Musician: Violinist	Jokes Jan 15, 2020 16:10:57 GMT chimalis likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by bluegene on Jan 15, 2020 16:10:57 GMT My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
	*One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.*

vortigern Global Moderator Posts: 124 Musician: Mandolinist	Jokes Jan 17, 2020 14:07:39 GMT brianna likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by vortigern on Jan 17, 2020 14:07:39 GMT When should you buy a bird? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}When it's going cheep.
	*My music is best understood by children and animals.*

leine Global Moderator Posts: 110	Jokes Jan 19, 2020 12:17:59 GMT eaghan likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by leine on Jan 19, 2020 12:17:59 GMT Did you hear about the Italian chef who died recently? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}He Pasta way
	*I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.*

nitika Global Moderator Posts: 113	Jokes Jan 25, 2020 17:44:56 GMT poseidon likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by nitika on Jan 25, 2020 17:44:56 GMT The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}They charged one and let the other one off.
	*You cannot walk straight when the road is bent.*

maestro Administrator Posts: 27 Musician: Guitarist	Jokes Jan 27, 2020 19:34:51 GMT siomha and valimai like this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by maestro on Jan 27, 2020 19:34:51 GMT What did Santa do when he went speed dating? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}He pulled a cracker.
	*♭ ♫ Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable* ♬ ♩**

eaghan Global Moderator Posts: 14	Jokes Jan 28, 2020 17:51:37 GMT leine likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by eaghan on Jan 28, 2020 17:51:37 GMT How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Nobody knows, it's never been done before.
	*The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.*

chimalis Global Moderator Posts: 73 Musician: Guitarist	Jokes Feb 3, 2020 22:10:25 GMT bluegene likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by chimalis on Feb 3, 2020 22:10:25 GMT Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem? Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.
	*The world's most famous and popular language is music.*

hecate Global Moderator Posts: 91	Jokes Feb 4, 2020 1:50:34 GMT angwen likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by hecate on Feb 4, 2020 1:50:34 GMT How do you get a sweet 80 year old lady to say the F word? SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}When another sweet 80 year old lady beside her yells Bingo!
	*The highest wisdom is loving kindness.*

angwen Global Moderator Posts: 13	Jokes Feb 6, 2020 14:46:31 GMT hecate likes this Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by angwen on Feb 6, 2020 14:46:31 GMT Barman asks Paddy: "Your glass is empty, fancy another one?" SPOILER: Click to show {Click here to show/hide}Paddy looking puzzled, asks: "Why the hell do I want two empty glasses?"
	*Adversity and loss make a man wise.*